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My Funny Bot (TaLking Cat)

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Was making it for a long time. My "ignorant & annoying bot''. Type !infocat for info. I guess there are more than 100 commands.. So Enjoy 😄

 

on *:join:#:{ msg $chan $nick 6Welcome 10To 5Own 7#chan !3 For Have A Fun Write 4 !infocat 3Enjoy! }

on *:kick:#:{
  if ($knick == $me) { join # | inc %kick | echo -a I've been kicked %kick times :P }
}

alias -l fullbot {
  goto $event
  :voice
  msg $chan 10[ $time ] 10[VOICE]14 $chan 4 $nick 7voiced12 $vnick
  window -n @Channels @Channels | aline @Channels 10[ $time ] 10[VOICE]14 $chan 4 $nick 7voiced12 $vnick
  halt
  :devoice
  msg $chan 10[ $time ] 10[Devoice]14 $chan 4 $nick 7devoiced12 $vnick
  window -n @Channels @Channels | aline @Channels 10[ $time ] 10[Devoice]14 $chan 4 $nick 7devoiced12 $vnick
  halt 
}

on *:exit:{
  if ($file(whois).shortfn) .remove $v1
}
on *:sockclose:w...*:{
  .play $gettok($sock($sockname).mark,2,124) whois 2000 
}
on *:text:$($iif(!track* iswm $strip($1),$1)):*:{
  if ($file(whois).shortfn) write -c $v1 
  if ($regex($strip($2),/((\d{1,3}\.){3}\d{1,3})/S)) { 
    var %ipinfo = $regml(1)
    if ($play(#)) || ($play($nick)) { 
      .notice $nick Please wait until I've finished the IP lookup! 
      halt 
    }
    .msg $iif(#,#,$nick) Please wait while I fetch the IP info...
    var %w $+(w...,$r(1,$ticks)) 
    sockopen %w www.fr2.cyberabuse.org 80
    sockmark %w $+(%ipinfo,|,$iif(#,#,$nick)) 
    halt 
  }
  .notice $nick That's not an IP address. Syntax: !track <IP>
}
on *:sockopen:w...*:{
  if ($sockerr) { 
    $gettok($sock($sockname).mark,2,124) * Error Connecting to Website! 
    halt 
  }
  var %? = sockwrite -nt $sockname
  var %?? = $+(IP=,$gettok($sock($sockname).mark,1,124),&OK=OK&OK=OK&dns=OK)
  %? POST /whois/?page=whois_server HTTP/1.1 
  %? Host: $sock($sockname).addr
  %? Referer: $+(http://,$sock($sockname).addr,/whois/?page=whois_server)
  %? Content-Type: application/x-www-form-urlencoded 
  %? Connection: close 
  %? Content-Length: $len(%??) 
  %? $+($crlf,%??)
}
on *:sockread:w...*:{
  if ($sockerr) { 
    $gettok($sock($sockname).mark,2,124) * Error Reading Website! 
    halt 
  }
  if (error isin %whois) { 
    .msg $gettok($sock($sockname).mark,2,124) Invalid IP Address! 
    halt
  }
  var %whois, %data = (Infos|Country|Abuse E-mail|Source)
  sockread %whois 
  if ($chr(37) !isin %whois) && ($regex($v2,/ $+ %data $+ /)) {
    if ($regex(%whois,/(.*) $+  $+($chr(60),br,$chr(62)) $+ /)) {
      write whois $regsubex($remove($regml(1),:),$&
        / $+ %data $+ /g,$+($chr(2),\1 :,$chr(2)))
    }
  }
}

on *:join:#:{ .notice $nick Welcome to $chan $+ , $me $+ 's Restaurant is open! Type !resturuant for more details. }
on *:text:!restaurant*:#:{
  .notice $nick Welcome to $me $+ 's Restaurant! Made by davey; Enjoy :)
  .notice $nick For the commands type: !rcmds
}
on *:text:!rcmds*:#:{
  .notice $nick Thanks for coming to $me $+ 's Restaurant!
  .notice $nick For all the types of food we have type: !food
  .notice $nick For all the types of beverages we have type: !beverages
  .notice $nick For all the types of soft drinks we have type: !sdrinks
  .notice $nick For all the types of candy we have type: !candy
  .notice $nick Enjoy :)
}
on *:text:!food*:#:{
  .notice $nick Here is our food menu!
  .notice $nick Burger, fries, pasta, steak, shrimp, bbqribs, ham, pork, sausages, green beans
  .notice $nick Strawberries, cakes, ice cream, waffles, pancakes, eggs, bacon, apples
  .notice $nick Bananas, oranges, peas, carrots, broccoli, asparagus, peaches, grapes, cauliflour
  .notice $nick Scrapples, candied yam, turkey, cheese, chicken and pizza.
  .notice $nick To get some food but a ! in front of the foods name :)
}
on *:text:!burger*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a burger }
on *:text:!fries*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a packet of fries }
on *:text:!pasta*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bowl of pasta }
on *:text:!steak*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a piece of steak }
on *:text:!shrimp*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bowl of shrimps }
on *:text:!bbqribs*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of bbq ribs }
on *:text:!ham*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a palte of ham }
on *:text:!pork*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of pork }
on *:text:!sausages*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of sausages }
on *:text:!greenbeans*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bowl of green beans }
on *:text:!strawberries*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a small bowl of strawberries }
on *:text:!cakes*:#:{ .notice $nick Please choose a cake from these five: Chocolate Cake, Ice cream Cake, Cheese Cake, Icing Cake and Orange and Poppy Sead Cake. Make sure to use a ! in front of the name. (Orange and Poppy Sead: !OPSCake. Chocolate Cake: !CCake. Ice Cream Cake: !ICCake. Icing Cake: !ICake. Cheese Cake: !ChCake } 
on *:text:!ccake*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a slice of Chocolate Cake }
on *:text:!opscake*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a slice of Orange and Poppy Seed Cake }
on *:text:!iccake*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a slice of Ice Cream Cake }
on *:text:!icake*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a slice of Icing Cake } 
on *:text:!chcake*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a slice of Cheese Cake }
on *:text:!icecream*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a scoop of icecream }
on *:text:!waffles*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of waffles }
on *:text:!pancakes*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of pancakes }
on *:text:!eggs*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of scrambled eggs }
on *:text:!bacon*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of bacon }
on *:text:!apples*:#:{ .notice $nick Please choice between; a red apple, a green apple or a yellow apple. For red type: !rapple For green type: !gapple For yellow type: !yapple }
on *:text:!rapple*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a juicy red apple }
on *:text:!gapple*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a juicy green apple }
on *:text:!yapple*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a juicy yellow apple }
on *:text:!bananas*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a yellow banana }
on *:text:!oranges*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick an orange }
on *:text:!peas*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bowl of peas }
on *:text:!carrots*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a orange carrot }
on *:text:!broccoli*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick some broccoli }
on *:text:!asparagus*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick an asparagus }
on *:text:!peaches*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bowl of peaches }
on *:text:!grapes*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bowl of grapes }
on *:text:!cauliflour*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick some cauliflour }
on *:text:!Scrapples*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick some scrapples }
on *:text:!candiedyam*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick some candied yam }
on *:text:!turkey*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a big plate of turkey with salad dressing | msg $chan Happy thanksgiving! }
on *:text:!cheese*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a peice of cheese }
on *:text:!chicken*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of chicken with salad dressing }
on *:text:!pizza*:#:{ .notice $nick Please choose between: Cheese and Bacon Pizza(!CBPizza) The Lot(!thelot) No Crusts(!NCPizza) and Cheese Pizza(!Cpizza) }
on *:text:!CBPizza*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a big plate of Cheese and Bacon Pizza }
on *:text:!thelot*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a big plate of The Lot }
on *:text:!NCPizza*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a big plate of No Crusts Pizza }
on *:text:!cpizza*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a big plate of Cheese Pizza }
on *:text:!beverages*:#:{ .notice $nick Please choose between wine, vodka, beer, whiskey, rum or cocktails. Wine: !wine Vodka: !vodka Beer: !beer Whiskey: !whiskey Rum: !rum Cocktails: !cocktails }
on *:text:!cocktails*:#:{
  .notice $nick Here is the cocktail menu:
  .notice $nick Martini, Long Island Iced Tea(!LIIT), Midori Limedrop(!MLime), Bubble Gum Kamikaze(!BGK)
  .notice $nick Electric Screwdriver(!Escrew), Sour Apple Pussycat(!SAP), Blue Valium(!BV)
  .notice $nick Peach Zima Sprite(!PZS), Frothy Lemonade(!FLemon), Jager Bomb(!JBomb)
  .notice $nick Daiquiri, Cosmopolitan, Margarita, White Russian(!WhiteRussian)
  .notice $nick Mudslide, Sex on the Beach(!SexBeach), Cordial Daisy(!CDaisy), BlueBerry Tequila Sour(!BTSour)
  .notice $nick Pear Sourball(!PSour), Jello Shooters(!JShoot).
}
on *:text:!Martini*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Martini }
on *:text:!LIIT*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Long Island Iced tea }
on *:text:!Mlime*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Midori Limedrop }
on *:text:!BGK*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Bubble Gum Kamikaze }
on *:text:!Escrew*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Electric Screwdriver }
on *:text:!SAP*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Sour Apple Pussycat }
on *:text:!BV*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Blue Valium }
on *:text:!PZS*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Peach Zima Sprite }
on *:text:!FLemon*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Frothy Lemonade }
on *:text:!Jbomb*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Jager Bomb }
on *:text:!daiquiri*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Daiquiri }
on *:text:!cosmoplitan*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Cosmopolitan }
on *:text:!Margarita*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Margarita }
on *:text:!whiterussian*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of White Russian }
on *:text:!mudslide*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Mudslide }
on *:text:!sexbeach*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Sex on the Beach }
on *:text:!CDaisy*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Cordial Daisy }
on *:text:!BTsour*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Blueberry Tequila Sour }
on *:text:!Psour*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Pear Sourball }
on *:text:!JShoot*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Jello Shooters }
on *:text:!beer*:#:{
  .notice $nick Miller, Miller Lite(!MLite), Miller Genuine Draft(!MGB)
  .notice $nick Rolling Rock(!RR), Yuenling, Molson, Corona, Coors, Coors Lite(!c!%$)
  .notice $nick Budweiser, BudLight
}
on *:text:!Miller*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Miller }
on *:text:!MLite*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Miller Lite }
on *:text:!MGD*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Miller Genuine Draft }
on *:text:!RR*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Rolling Rock }
on *:text:!yuenling*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Yuenling }
on *:text:!Molson*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Molson }
on *:text:!Corona*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Corona }
on *:text:!Coors*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Coors }
on *:text:!c!%$*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Coors Lite }
on *:text:!Budweiser*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Budweiser }
on *:text:!Budlite*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Budlite }
on *:text:!wine*:#:{
  .notice $nick White Wine(!white), Red Wine(!red), Cabernet Savignon(!CabSav)
  .notice $nick Champagne, Sparkling Wine(!SparkleW), Sparkling Cider(SparkleC)
  .notice $nick Riesling, Chardonnay, Sauvignon, Pinot Noir(!pinotn)
  .notice $nick Merlot, Shiraz, Syrah, Zinfandel
}
on *:text:!white*:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of White Wine }
on *:text:!red*:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Red Wine }
on *:text:!CabSac*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Cabernet Savignon }
on *:text:!Champagne*:#:{ describe $chan pops the cork | describe $chan gives $nick a glass of champagne }
on *:text:!SparkleW*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Sparkling Wine }
on *:text:!sparklec*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Sparkling Cider }
on *:text:!Riesling*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Riesling }
on *:text:!Chardonnay*:#:{ describe $chan gives $Nick a glass of Chardonnay }
on *:text:!Sauvignon*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Sauvignon }
on *:text:!PinotN*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Pinot Noir }
on *:text:!merlot*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Merlot }
on *:text:!Shiraz*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Shiraz }
on *:text:!Syrah*:#:{ describe $chan gives $Nick a glass of Syrah }
on *:text:!Zinfandel*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Zinafandel }
on *:text:!whiskey*:#:{
  .notice $nick Charbay, McCarthy's(!McCarthys), Notch, Old Potrero(!OldP), Peregrine Rock(!PerRock)
  .notice $nick St. George(!StG), Stranahan's(!Stranahans), Templeton Rye(!TempleR)
  .notice $nick Wasmud's(!Wasmuds), Woodstone Creek(!WoodCreek)
}
on *:text:!Charbay*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Charbay }
on *:text:!McCarthys*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of McCarthy's }
on *:text:!Notch*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Notch }
on *:text:!OldP*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Old Potrero }
on *:text:!PerRock*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Peregrine Rock }
on *:text:!StG*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of St. George }
on *:text:!Stranahans*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Stranahan's }
on *:text:!TempleR*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Templeton Rye }
on *:text:!Wasmuds*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Wasmud's }
on *:text:!WoodCreek*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Woodstone Creek }
on *:text:!vodka*:#:{
  .notice $nick Absolut, Belvedere, Grey Goose(!GreyG), Imperia, Seagram's(!Seagrams)
  .notice $nick Skyy, Smirnoff
}
on *:text:!Absolut*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Absolut }
on *:text:!Belvedere*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Belvedere }
on *:text:!GreyG*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Grey Goose }
on *:text:!Imperia*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Imperia }
on *:text:!Seagrams*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Seagram's }
on *:text:!Skyy*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Skyy }
on *:text:!Smirnoff*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Smirnoff }
on *:text:!rum*:#:{
  .notice $nick Bacardi, Captain Morgan(!CaptainM), Malibu
}
on *:text:!Bacardi*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Bacardi }
on *:text:!CaptainM*:#:{ describe $chan gives $Nick a bottle of Captain Morgan }
on *:text:!Malibu*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Malibu }
on *:text:!sdrinks*:#:{
  .notice $nick Coke, Fanta, Lemonade, Raspberry Soda(!raspsoda)
  .notice $nick Solo, Pepsi
}
on *:text:!coke*:#:{ notice $nick Please choose between; Diet Coke(!DietC), Coke Zero(!CZero), Lemonade Coke(!LemonCoke) or Coca Cola(!CocaCola) }
on *:text:!DietC*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Diet Coke }
on *:text:!CZero*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Coke Zero }
on *:text:!LemonCoke*:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Lemonade flavoured Coke }
on *:text:!CocaCola*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Coca Cola }
on *:text:!fanta*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Fanta }
on *:text:!Lemonade*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Lemonade }
on *:text:!raspsoda*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Raspberry Soda }
on *:text:!Solo*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of solo }
on *:text:!pepsi*:#:{ .notice $nick Please choose between; Normal Pepsi(!NPepsi), Pepsi Max(!PMax) or Vanilla Pepsi(!VPepsi) }
on *:text:!npepsi*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Pepsi }
on *:text:!Pmax*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Pepsi Max }
on *:text:!VPepsi*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Vanilla flavoured pepsi }
on *:text:!candy*:#:{
  .notice $nick Boost, Flake, Cherry Ripe(!CherryR), Mars, Snickers
  .notice $nick Kambly
}
on *:text:!Boost*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a Boost }
on *:text:!Flake*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a Flake }
on *:text:!CherryR*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a Cherry Ripe }
on *:text:!Mars*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a Mars }
on *:text:!Snickers*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a Snickers }
on *:text:!kambly*:#:{ .notice $nick Please choose between; Chocolate Hearts(!ChocoHearts), Florentin or Mont Choco(!MontChoco) }
on *:text:!ChocoHearts*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a box of Chocolate Hearts }
on *:text:!Florentin*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a box of Florentins }
on *:text:!MontChoco*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a box of Mont Chocos }

on *:TEXT:your gay:#:{ msg $chan $nick your mama  is }
on *:TEXT:!joke1:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. }
on *:TEXT:!joke2:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. }
on *:TEXT:!joke3:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code! }
on *:TEXT:!joke4:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so stupid that she put lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind. }
on *:TEXT:!joke5:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. }
on *:TEXT:!joke6:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her. }
on *:TEXT:!joke7:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras. }
on *:TEXT:!joke8:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! }
on *:TEXT:!joke9:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon. }
on *:TEXT:!joke9:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise. }
on *:TEXT:!joke10:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs! }
on *:TEXT:you smell:#:{ msg $chan $nick No you do! Go take a shower. }
on *:TEXT:!info:#:{ msg $chan $nick Before typing any of my commands you should know that all of my commands are jokes they are not to be taken personally.To access jokes type !joke ex.!joke2 }
on *:TEXT:!cool:#:{ msg $chan $nick your not cool so dont type this. }
on *:TEXT:!loser:#:{ msg $chan $nick this is exactly what you are. }
on *:TEXT:!me:#:{ msg $chan $nick I found a picture of you look -> http://www.mediocrefilms.com/images/retarded-title.jpg <- }
on *:TEXT:!joke11:#:{ msg $chan Yo mammas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles! }
on *:TEXT:!joke12:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so poor she can't afford to pay attention! }
on *:TEXT:!joke13:#:{ msg $chan Yo Mamma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!" }
on *:TEXT:!joke14:#:{ msg $chan Yo Mamma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. }
on *:TEXT:!joke15:#:{ msg $chan Do you know the story about the little old woman that lives in a shoe?  Well, Yo mama so poor she live in a flip flop! }
on *:TEXT:!joke16:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma like spoiled milk, fat and chunky! }
on *:TEXT:!joke17:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so stupid, she studied for a drug test! }
on *:TEXT:!joke18:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! }
on *:TEXT:!joke19:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so stupid she stole free bread. }
on *:TEXT:!joke20:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! }
on *:TEXT:!joke21:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so black, she sat down on a jacuzzi and made coffee. }
on *:TEXT:!joke22:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so old, she used to play for the raiders when they had both eyes. }
on *:TEXT:!joke23:#:{ msg $chan Your mama's so fat when she goes to McDonalds they ask her what she doesn't want! }
on *:TEXT:!joke24:#:{ msg $chan Authorities say a Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of McNuggets. A spokesman for McDonalds said that this was unusual because most customers dont call 911 until after theyve eaten McDonalds. } 
on *:TEXT:!joke25:#:{ msg $chan Q:why did the burger queen get pregnant? }
on *:TEXT:!why*:#:{ msg $chan A:the burger king forgot to wrap his whopper. }

on 1:text:No U:#:msg $chan 4 NO U FAGGOT
on *:action:*slaps* *Mackbot*:*: { describe $chan hits $nick around a bit with the banhammer }
on 1:text:!Huggles:#:msg $chan 4 Huggles $nick
on 1:text:!tequila:#:msg $chan 4 slides a shot of tequila over to $nick (what a bum, go get a life)
ON 1:TEXT:!Buttsecks:#:describe $chan turns on $nick and gives suprise buttsecks
on 1:text:bad:#:msg $chan 4 well fark you too $nick
ON 1:TEXT:!nick:#:describe $chan /nick _________
ON 1:TEXT:!sop:#:describe $chan /cs sop #Channel (add/del) Nick /cs aop #Channel (add/del) Nick
ON 1:TEXT:!sop:#:describe $chan /cs sop #Channel (add/del) Nick
ON 1:TEXT:!Faggot:#:describe $chan  We all know your a faggot $nick
ON 1:TEXT:!Coke:#:describe $chan 4 /me passes a kilo of coke to $nick
ON 1:TEXT:!nuke:#:describe $chan 4 nukes $nick
ON 1:TEXT:!Cig:#:describe $chan 4 $nick Thinks it's time for a   7===0============~~~~~~~4~~
ON 1:TEXT:!GreenTC:#:describe $chan  To sign up  for green team trade circles go to  ----    http://s1.zetaboards.com/United_Jungle_Accord/forum/766279/
ON 1:TEXT:!TC:#:describe $chan 4 To sign up for GGA Trade Circles Go to the link ---- http://z8.invisionfree.com/GGA/index.php?showtopic=1850
ON 1:TEXT:!steak:#:describe $chan 4 Hands $nick A Big, Juicy , Top of the line steak
ON 1:TEXT:!rstat1:#:describe $chan 4 A super smart IRC wiz that knows enough to steal your channel if he has sops!!!
ON 1:TEXT:!Koel:#:describe $chan 4 $nick Koel, Is the LEader Of the dirty Slcbers. not the alliance only the dirty people.
ON 1:TEXT:!Cig:#:describe $chan  $nick says its time for a 7,1 ====0==========4=15~~~~~~~~~ break
ON 1:TEXT:!Dog:#:Describe $chan 4 Gives a cute little puppy to $nick
ON 1:TEXT:!RandleMan:#:Msg $chan 4 Whore On corner with red pumps
ON 1:TEXT:!Burger:#:Describe $chan 4 hands $nick a Large CheeseBurger
ON 1:TEXT:!Beer:#:Describe $chan 4 hands $nick An ice cold beer!!!
ON 1:TEXT:!English:#:msg $chan 4 $chan is an english speaking chatroom, please speak english or type /list for the channel you require.
ON 1:TEXT:!Caps:#:msg $chan 4Stop using caps it's rude (seen as yelling) and may result in a kick and/or ban. 
ON 1:TEXT:!age:#:msg $chan 4This Channel Has no age limit aslong as ur not to OLD 
ON 1:TEXT:!Troll:#:msg $chan 4Do not troll in $chan Doing this results in :Ban or Kick
ON 1:TEXT:!Pm:#:msg $chan 4Do Not pm someone without there permission.
ON 1:TEXT:!Trolling:#:msg $chan 4Trolling Means : Looking for Boys/Girls/Asking For Cybers/
ON 1:TEXT:!Drama:#:msg $chan 4Do Not Start Drama In $chan 
ON 1:TEXT:!beg:#:msg $chan 4Dont Beg For Ops in $chan
ON 1:TEXT:!nick:#:msg $chan 4change your nick type /nick NickYouWantHere or (/Nick Bob)
ON 1:TEXT:!Ass:#:msg $chan  4Dont be a Ass, It Only Makes You Look Dumb.
ON 1:TEXT:!Spam:#:msg $chan 4No Spamming In $chan Leads To Perm Ban 
ON 1:TEXT:!Ignore:#:msg $chan 4To add someone to your ignore list Type /Ignore <Copy Nick Here> Or  /Ignore <Paste Hostmask Here>
ON 1:TEXT:!Owner:#:msg $chan 4To Make a temp owner type /mode #room +q nick
ON 1:TEXT:!Room:#:msg $chan 4To Make Ur Own Room Type /cs register #roomname URPasshere Descriptionofroomhere
ON 1:TEXT:!mIRC:#:msg $chan 4To Download mirc go to www.mirc.com((12And Download From The Website 4))
ON 1:TEXT:!wIRC:#:msg $chan 4To Download wIRC Go to www.warirc.com/ ((4And Download From There12)))  
ON 1:TEXT:!kick:#:msg $chan 4To Kick Someone from a room your op in type !k nick reason. 
ON 1:TEXT:!Ban:#:msg $chan    4To Ban Someone from a room your op in type !kb nick reason.
ON 1:TEXT:!Unban:#:msg $chan 4To Unban Someone From A Room Your Op In Type !unban nick || To Unban Yourself From a room you are perm op in type /cs unban #room.
ON 1:TEXT:!register:#:msg $chan 4To Register your NickName type /ns register Yourpasswordhere Youremailaddresshere
ON 1:text:!identify:#:msg $chan 4 After Registering Your Nick Each Time You Connect You Must Type /ns identify URPASSHERE
ON 1:text:!ghost:#:msg $chan 4 Type /ns ghost urmainnamehere urpasshere
ON 1:text:!racial:#:msg $chan 4 There Will Be NO Racial Remarks in $chan Results In A Ban.
On 1:text:!respect:#:msg $chan 4 Please Respect All Chatters in $chan
on 1:text:im back:#:msg $chan 4 Welcome Back $nick
on 1:text:ill brb:#:msg $chan 4 Hurry Back $nick
on 1:text:brb:#:msg $chan 4 Hurry Back $nick
on 1:text:back:#:msg $chan 4 Welcome Back $nick
on 1:text:g2g:#:msg $chan 4 GoodBye $nick
on 1:text:gtg:#:msg $chan 4 GoodBye $nick
on 1:text:bbl:#:msg $chan 4 See You Later $nick

on 1:text:!commands:#: { 
  .msg $chan $nick We have: !wake !poke !roses  !throw !tag !candy !youtube !wiki !google !roses !petals !cola !m&ms !king !queen !flowers !smile !friend !dear - ALSO GAMES: !Aim !Blowup/!Defuse !Pcall !Number/Guess !Slots !8ball 
.msg $chan $nick !english !caps !age !troll !PM !trolling !drama !beg  !ass !spam  !racial !respect !beer !burger !dog !blow !MackJob !cig !greenTC !Tequila !nuke !steak !Faggot !restaurant !huggles* for IrcHelp commands Type !irchelp* for Uno commands type !unocom  * }

on 1:text:!ircHelp:#:msg $chan 4  !nick !ignore !owner !room !mirc !wirc !kick !ban !unban !register !identify !ghost !sop !aop
on 1:text:!Unocom:#:msg $chan 4 !uno !join !deal !unostop !kickplayer <player> !cards !count !topcard !draw !pass !play !score !top10
on 1:text:!blow:#:describe $chan 4 Watches $nick Blow him self en a very disgusting matter (go buy a prostitute atleast)
on 1:text:!Win:#:msg $chan 4 &me MackBot wins and you lose, your whole life is epic fail. Get over it!!!
on 1:text:!MackJob:#:msg $chan 4 I'm a man you !@#$ idiot I wouldnt blow you if you had the largest !@#$ in the world
on 1:text:!NoobSauce:#:msg $chan 4 Beer is Good (aka BiG) is the definition of noobsauce 2: BiG's new word
on 1:text:!Belka:#:msg $chan 4 A very important member of the GGA, that gets things done and can be trusted with most task
on 1:text:!Mackbot:#:msg $chan 4 A GGAer thats lazy but sets up Green team trade circles so Message in game if interesyed in TC! (aka General_Mack)
on 1:text:!SP:#:msg $chan 4 Trium of GGA that keeps to himself alot (from what I've seen) But knows when to joke around and when to be serious (unlike MackBoy[AKA shaneprice]
on 1:text:!win:#:msg $chan 4 I win you lose get over it( your whole life = epic fail)
on 1:text:!LT:#:msg $chan 4 LT is not AFK as much as he leads everyone to believe!!!(aka Lord Tarmikos)
on 1:text:!Q:#:msg $chan 4 Qauianna is best described as Hardworking stooge of the Triumvir (which one? MoE) (aka Qauianna)
on 1:text:!hello:#:msg $chan 4  hello $nick how are you doing???
on 1:text:!Good:#:msg $chan 4   That's great $nick , I'm doing great today, considering bots are always happy!!!
on 1:text:Fine:#:msg $chan 4   That's great $nick , I'm doing great today, considering bots are always happy!!
on 1:text:steak:#:describe $chan 4 Hands $nick A Big, Juicy , Top of the line steak

Description: Restaurant Script
URL: http://rafb.net/p/rMOdgJ18.html

ctcp *:VERSION: { ctcpreply $nick VERSION $me is using $me $+ 's Restaurant. Made by Mack. | halt }
alias restaurant {
  msg $chan I am using $me $+ 's restaurant, made by Your mum
}
on *:join:#:{ .notice $nick Welcome to $chan $+ , $me $+ 's Restaurant is open! Type !resturuant for more details. }
on *:text:!restaurant*:#:{
  .notice $nick Welcome to $me $+ 's Restaurant! Made by davey; Enjoy :)
  .notice $nick For the commands type: !rcmds
}
on *:text:!rcmds*:#:{
  .notice $nick Thanks for coming to $me $+ 's Restaurant!
  .notice $nick For all the types of food we have type: !food
  .notice $nick For all the types of beverages we have type: !beverages
  .notice $nick For all the types of soft drinks we have type: !sdrinks
  .notice $nick For all the types of candy we have type: !candy
  .notice $nick Enjoy :)
}
on *:text:!food*:#:{
  .notice $nick Here is our food menu!
  .notice $nick Burger, fries, pasta, steak, shrimp, bbqribs, ham, pork, sausages, green beans
  .notice $nick Strawberries, cakes, ice cream, waffles, pancakes, eggs, bacon, apples
  .notice $nick Bananas, oranges, peas, carrots, broccoli, asparagus, peaches, grapes, cauliflour
  .notice $nick Scrapples, candied yam, turkey, cheese, chicken and pizza.
  .notice $nick To get some food but a ! in front of the foods name :)
}
on *:text:!burger*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a burger }
on *:text:!fries*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a packet of fries }
on *:text:!pasta*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bowl of pasta }
on *:text:!steak*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a piece of steak }
on *:text:!shrimp*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bowl of shrimps }
on *:text:!bbqribs*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of bbq ribs }
on *:text:!ham*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a palte of ham }
on *:text:!pork*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of pork }
on *:text:!sausages*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of sausages }
on *:text:!greenbeans*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bowl of green beans }
on *:text:!strawberries*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a small bowl of strawberries }
on *:text:!cakes*:#:{ .notice $nick Please choose a cake from these five: Chocolate Cake, Ice cream Cake, Cheese Cake, Icing Cake and Orange and Poppy Sead Cake. Make sure to use a ! in front of the name. (Orange and Poppy Sead: !OPSCake. Chocolate Cake: !CCake. Ice Cream Cake: !ICCake. Icing Cake: !ICake. Cheese Cake: !ChCake } 
on *:text:!ccake*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a slice of Chocolate Cake }
on *:text:!opscake*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a slice of Orange and Poppy Seed Cake }
on *:text:!iccake*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a slice of Ice Cream Cake }
on *:text:!icake*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a slice of Icing Cake } 
on *:text:!chcake*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a slice of Cheese Cake }
on *:text:!icecream*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a scoop of icecream }
on *:text:!waffles*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of waffles }
on *:text:!pancakes*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of pancakes }
on *:text:!eggs*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of scrambled eggs }
on *:text:!bacon*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of bacon }
on *:text:!apples*:#:{ .notice $nick Please choice between; a red apple, a green apple or a yellow apple. For red type: !rapple For green type: !gapple For yellow type: !yapple }
on *:text:!rapple*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a juicy red apple }
on *:text:!gapple*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a juicy green apple }
on *:text:!yapple*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a juicy yellow apple }
on *:text:!bananas*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a yellow banana }
on *:text:!oranges*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick an orange }
on *:text:!peas*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bowl of peas }
on *:text:!carrots*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a orange carrot }
on *:text:!broccoli*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick some broccoli }
on *:text:!asparagus*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick an asparagus }
on *:text:!peaches*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bowl of peaches }
on *:text:!grapes*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bowl of grapes }
on *:text:!cauliflour*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick some cauliflour }
on *:text:!Scrapples*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick some scrapples }
on *:text:!candiedyam*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick some candied yam }
on *:text:!turkey*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a big plate of turkey with salad dressing | msg $chan Happy thanksgiving! }
on *:text:!cheese*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a peice of cheese }
on *:text:!chicken*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a plate of chicken with salad dressing }
on *:text:!pizza*:#:{ .notice $nick Please choose between: Cheese and Bacon Pizza(!CBPizza) The Lot(!thelot) No Crusts(!NCPizza) and Cheese Pizza(!Cpizza) }
on *:text:!CBPizza*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a big plate of Cheese and Bacon Pizza }
on *:text:!thelot*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a big plate of The Lot }
on *:text:!NCPizza*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a big plate of No Crusts Pizza }
on *:text:!cpizza*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a big plate of Cheese Pizza }
on *:text:!beverages*:#:{ .notice $nick Please choose between wine, vodka, beer, whiskey, rum or cocktails. Wine: !wine Vodka: !vodka Beer: !beer Whiskey: !whiskey Rum: !rum Cocktails: !cocktails }
on *:text:!cocktails*:#:{
  .notice $nick Here is the cocktail menu:
  .notice $nick Martini, Long Island Iced Tea(!LIIT), Midori Limedrop(!MLime), Bubble Gum Kamikaze(!BGK)
  .notice $nick Electric Screwdriver(!Escrew), Sour Apple Pussycat(!SAP), Blue Valium(!BV)
  .notice $nick Peach Zima Sprite(!PZS), Frothy Lemonade(!FLemon), Jager Bomb(!JBomb)
  .notice $nick Daiquiri, Cosmopolitan, Margarita, White Russian(!WhiteRussian)
  .notice $nick Mudslide, Sex on the Beach(!SexBeach), Cordial Daisy(!CDaisy), BlueBerry Tequila Sour(!BTSour)
  .notice $nick Pear Sourball(!PSour), Jello Shooters(!JShoot).
}
on *:text:!Martini*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Martini }
on *:text:!LIIT*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Long Island Iced tea }
on *:text:!Mlime*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Midori Limedrop }
on *:text:!BGK*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Bubble Gum Kamikaze }
on *:text:!Escrew*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Electric Screwdriver }
on *:text:!SAP*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Sour Apple Pussycat }
on *:text:!BV*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Blue Valium }
on *:text:!PZS*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Peach Zima Sprite }
on *:text:!FLemon*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Frothy Lemonade }
on *:text:!Jbomb*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Jager Bomb }
on *:text:!daiquiri*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Daiquiri }
on *:text:!cosmoplitan*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Cosmopolitan }
on *:text:!Margarita*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Margarita }
on *:text:!whiterussian*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of White Russian }
on *:text:!mudslide*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Mudslide }
on *:text:!sexbeach*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Sex on the Beach }
on *:text:!CDaisy*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Cordial Daisy }
on *:text:!BTsour*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Blueberry Tequila Sour }
on *:text:!Psour*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Pear Sourball }
on *:text:!JShoot*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Jello Shooters }
on *:text:!beer*:#:{
  .notice $nick Miller, Miller Lite(!MLite), Miller Genuine Draft(!MGB)
  .notice $nick Rolling Rock(!RR), Yuenling, Molson, Corona, Coors, Coors Lite(!c!%$)
  .notice $nick Budweiser, BudLight
}
on *:text:!Miller*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Miller }
on *:text:!MLite*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Miller Lite }
on *:text:!MGD*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Miller Genuine Draft }
on *:text:!RR*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Rolling Rock }
on *:text:!yuenling*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Yuenling }
on *:text:!Molson*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Molson }
on *:text:!Corona*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Corona }
on *:text:!Coors*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Coors }
on *:text:!c!%$*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Coors Lite }
on *:text:!Budweiser*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Budweiser }
on *:text:!Budlite*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Budlite }
on *:text:!wine*:#:{
  .notice $nick White Wine(!white), Red Wine(!red), Cabernet Savignon(!CabSav)
  .notice $nick Champagne, Sparkling Wine(!SparkleW), Sparkling Cider(SparkleC)
  .notice $nick Riesling, Chardonnay, Sauvignon, Pinot Noir(!pinotn)
  .notice $nick Merlot, Shiraz, Syrah, Zinfandel
}
on *:text:!white*:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of White Wine }
on *:text:!red*:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Red Wine }
on *:text:!CabSac*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Cabernet Savignon }
on *:text:!Champagne*:#:{ describe $chan pops the cork | describe $chan gives $nick a glass of champagne }
on *:text:!SparkleW*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Sparkling Wine }
on *:text:!sparklec*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Sparkling Cider }
on *:text:!Riesling*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Riesling }
on *:text:!Chardonnay*:#:{ describe $chan gives $Nick a glass of Chardonnay }
on *:text:!Sauvignon*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Sauvignon }
on *:text:!PinotN*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Pinot Noir }
on *:text:!merlot*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Merlot }
on *:text:!Shiraz*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Shiraz }
on *:text:!Syrah*:#:{ describe $chan gives $Nick a glass of Syrah }
on *:text:!Zinfandel*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a glass of Zinafandel }
on *:text:!whiskey*:#:{
  .notice $nick Charbay, McCarthy's(!McCarthys), Notch, Old Potrero(!OldP), Peregrine Rock(!PerRock)
  .notice $nick St. George(!StG), Stranahan's(!Stranahans), Templeton Rye(!TempleR)
  .notice $nick Wasmud's(!Wasmuds), Woodstone Creek(!WoodCreek)
}
on *:text:!Charbay*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Charbay }
on *:text:!McCarthys*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of McCarthy's }
on *:text:!Notch*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Notch }
on *:text:!OldP*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Old Potrero }
on *:text:!PerRock*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Peregrine Rock }
on *:text:!StG*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of St. George }
on *:text:!Stranahans*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Stranahan's }
on *:text:!TempleR*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Templeton Rye }
on *:text:!Wasmuds*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Wasmud's }
on *:text:!WoodCreek*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Woodstone Creek }
on *:text:!vodka*:#:{
  .notice $nick Absolut, Belvedere, Grey Goose(!GreyG), Imperia, Seagram's(!Seagrams)
  .notice $nick Skyy, Smirnoff
}
on *:text:!Absolut*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Absolut }
on *:text:!Belvedere*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Belvedere }
on *:text:!GreyG*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Grey Goose }
on *:text:!Imperia*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Imperia }
on *:text:!Seagrams*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Seagram's }
on *:text:!Skyy*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Skyy }
on *:text:!Smirnoff*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Smirnoff }
on *:text:!rum*:#:{
  .notice $nick Bacardi, Captain Morgan(!CaptainM), Malibu
}
on *:text:!Bacardi*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Bacardi }
on *:text:!CaptainM*:#:{ describe $chan gives $Nick a bottle of Captain Morgan }
on *:text:!Malibu*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a bottle of Malibu }
on *:text:!sdrinks*:#:{
  .notice $nick Coke, Fanta, Lemonade, Raspberry Soda(!raspsoda)
  .notice $nick Solo, Pepsi
}
on *:text:!coke*:#:{ notice $nick Please choose between; Diet Coke(!DietC), Coke Zero(!CZero), Lemonade Coke(!LemonCoke) or Coca Cola(!CocaCola) }
on *:text:!DietC*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Diet Coke }
on *:text:!CZero*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Coke Zero }
on *:text:!LemonCoke*:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Lemonade flavoured Coke }
on *:text:!CocaCola*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Coca Cola }
on *:text:!fanta*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Fanta }
on *:text:!Lemonade*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Lemonade }
on *:text:!raspsoda*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Raspberry Soda }
on *:text:!Solo*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of solo }
on *:text:!pepsi*:#:{ .notice $nick Please choose between; Normal Pepsi(!NPepsi), Pepsi Max(!PMax) or Vanilla Pepsi(!VPepsi) }
on *:text:!npepsi*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Pepsi }
on *:text:!Pmax*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Pepsi Max }
on *:text:!VPepsi*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a can of Vanilla flavoured pepsi }
on *:text:!candy*:#:{
  .notice $nick Boost, Flake, Cherry Ripe(!CherryR), Mars, Snickers
  .notice $nick Kambly
}
on *:text:!Boost*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a Boost }
on *:text:!Flake*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a Flake }
on *:text:!CherryR*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a Cherry Ripe }
on *:text:!Mars*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a Mars }
on *:text:!Snickers*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a Snickers }
on *:text:!kambly*:#:{ .notice $nick Please choose between; Chocolate Hearts(!ChocoHearts), Florentin or Mont Choco(!MontChoco) }
on *:text:!ChocoHearts*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a box of Chocolate Hearts }
on *:text:!Florentin*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a box of Florentins }
on *:text:!MontChoco*:#:{ describe $chan gives $nick a box of Mont Chocos }

on *:TEXT:your gay:#:{ msg $chan $nick your mama  is }
on *:TEXT:!joke1:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. }
on *:TEXT:!joke2:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. }
on *:TEXT:!joke3:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code! }
on *:TEXT:!joke4:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so stupid that she put lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind. }
on *:TEXT:!joke5:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. }
on *:TEXT:!joke6:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her. }
on *:TEXT:!joke7:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras. }
on *:TEXT:!joke8:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! }
on *:TEXT:!joke9:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon. }
on *:TEXT:!joke9:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise. }
on *:TEXT:!joke10:#:{ msg $chan Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs! }
on *:TEXT:you smell:#:{ msg $chan $nick No you do! Go take a shower. }
on *:TEXT:!info:#:{ msg $chan $nick Before typing any of my commands you should know that all of my commands are jokes they are not to be taken personally.To access jokes type !joke ex.!joke2 }
on *:TEXT:!cool:#:{ msg $chan $nick your not cool so dont type this. }
on *:TEXT:!loser:#:{ msg $chan $nick this is exactly what you are. }
on *:TEXT:!me:#:{ msg $chan $nick I found a picture of you look -> http://www.mediocrefilms.com/images/retarded-title.jpg <- }
on *:TEXT:!joke11:#:{ msg $chan Yo mammas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles! }
on *:TEXT:!joke12:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so poor she can't afford to pay attention! }
on *:TEXT:!joke13:#:{ msg $chan Yo Mamma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!" }
on *:TEXT:!joke14:#:{ msg $chan Yo Mamma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. }
on *:TEXT:!joke15:#:{ msg $chan Do you know the story about the little old woman that lives in a shoe?  Well, Yo mama so poor she live in a flip flop! }
on *:TEXT:!joke16:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma like spoiled milk, fat and chunky! }
on *:TEXT:!joke17:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so stupid, she studied for a drug test! }
on *:TEXT:!joke18:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! }
on *:TEXT:!joke19:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so stupid she stole free bread. }
on *:TEXT:!joke20:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! }
on *:TEXT:!joke21:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so black, she sat down on a jacuzzi and made coffee. }
on *:TEXT:!joke22:#:{ msg $chan Yo mamma so old, she used to play for the raiders when they had both eyes. }
on *:TEXT:!joke23:#:{ msg $chan Your mama's so fat when she goes to McDonalds they ask her what she doesn't want! }
on *:TEXT:!joke24:#:{ msg $chan Authorities say a Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of McNuggets. A spokesman for McDonalds said that this was unusual because most customers dont call 911 until after theyve eaten McDonalds. } 
on *:TEXT:!joke25:#:{ msg $chan Q:why did the burger queen get pregnant? }
on *:TEXT:!why*:#:{ msg $chan A:the burger king forgot to wrap his whopper. }

ON *:TEXT:*work*:#: { msg $chan $nick i like $1 and $2
}

ON *:TEXT:!wb*cat*:#: { msg $chan !merci $nick
}

ON *:TEXT:!welcome*cat*:#: { msg $chan !merci $nick
}

ON *:TEXT:*bye*cat*:#: { msg $chan !bye $nick
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*bye*:#: { msg $chan !bye $nick
}

ON *:TEXT:*why*cat*:#: { msg $chan $nick Just...hehe :D
}

ON *:TEXT:*talk*with*me*cat*:#: { msg $chan $nick Okay. Give a topic.
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*talk*with*me*:#: { msg $chan $nick Okay. Give a topic :P
}

ON *:TEXT:hi*cat*:#: { msg $chan $nick Hi :)
}

ON *:TEXT:Hello*cat*:#: { msg $chan $nick Hello ;)
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*thank*:#: { msg $chan $nick You are welcome ;)
}

ON *:TEXT:*thank*cat*:#: { msg $chan $nick Ya r welcome ;)
}

ON *:TEXT:*merci*cat*:#: { msg $chan $nick you are always welcome!
}

ON *:TEXT:what*cat*:#: { msg $chan $nick err...idk.. :D
}

on *:TEXT:*boredom*:#: {

  kick $chan $nick So get out from there $nick 
}

on *:TEXT:*bore*:#: {

  kick $chan $nick So get out from there $nick 
}

on *:TEXT:*boring*:#: {

  kick $chan $nick So get out from there $nick 
}

ON *:TEXT:*nice*:#: { msg $chan $nick Yeah, dat`s nice!
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*talk*w*me:#: { msg $chan $nick Ok. How was your day?
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*it*was*:#: { msg $chan $nick Okay ..
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*day*was*:#: { msg $chan $nick My day was the same.
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*thank*:#: { msg $chan $nick You are welcome ;)
}

ON *:TEXT:!infocat*:#: { msg $chan $nick 6 Heyaa ;) 10 I`m a bot, Talking cat. 10 For fun you can type 5 !commands , !rcmds , !uncom . 13 Enjoy!
}

ON *:TEXT:*team*:#: { msg $chan I like team "Tavriya"...they looks like cats :P
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*what*:#: { msg $chan $nick I don`t know.
}

ON *:TEXT:*hungry*:#: { msg $chan $nick Ya don`t know that i`m always hungry!
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*how*:#: { msg $chan $nick How how...nohow..
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*why*:#: { msg $chan $nick dunno :/
}

ON *:TEXT:*shut up*:#: { msg $chan $nick Shut up urself rather!
}

ON *:TEXT:*bitch*:#: { msg $chan $nick pig...
}

ON *:TEXT:*cool*:#: { msg $chan $nick CoooOooOoooOool.......
}

ON *:TEXT:*thank*:#: { msg $chan $nick Thank someone - it`s a good deal for everybody of us.
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*i*love*:#: { msg $chan $nick I love you too ! ;)
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*marry*me*:#: { msg $chan $nick Finally someone will love me (H)
}

ON *:TEXT:*nonsense*:#: { msg $chan $nick He says that I stole his computer, but that's just nonsense. I`m only cat :|
}

ON *:TEXT:*quiet*:#: { msg $chan $nick Quiet, do not make a noise. I'm going to go to sleep. Shhh!
}

ON *:TEXT:*sleep*:#: { msg $chan $nick Good night.
}

ON *:TEXT:*good night*:#: { msg $chan $nick Go with God.
}

ON *:TEXT:привет*:#: { msg $chan $nick Привет! Добро пожаловать :)
}

ON *:TEXT:блин*:#: { msg $chan $nick Блин жареный.
}

ON *:TEXT:*бля*:#: { msg $chan $nick Советую не ругаться здесь. Не порть красоту.
}

ON *:TEXT:*fuck*:#: { msg $chan $nick Anaway i can ban you, if you will say it again
}

ON *:TEXT:*study*:#: { msg $chan Study very useful. as Lenin said - study, study and study again!
}

ON *:TEXT:*learn*:#: { msg $chan Of all my life i learned more than 100 commands and more than 50 phrases.
}

ON *:TEXT:*never*:#: { msg $chan $nick Never say never!
}

ON *:TEXT:*awful*:#: { msg $chan $nick Awfully it is when you walk down the dark street home, an eerie silence, and you feel that someone is on your tail ...
}

ON *:TEXT:*terrible*:#: { msg $chan $nick Terrible it is when you walk down the dark street home, an eerie silence, and you feel that someone is on your tail ...
}

ON *:TEXT:*rain*:#: { msg $chan $nick Rainy, cold, snow, window....wow...awesome weather, shit.
}

ON *:TEXT:*silense*:#: { msg $chan $nick Silence doesn`t always mean that someone is dead ... but ... O_O what is this?
}

ON *:TEXT:*silent*:#: { msg $chan Yaay what`s a silent, ppl? C`monm wake uuup!
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*what*time*:#: { msg $chan $nick I know exactly - here is now $time(hh:nntt dddd dd/mm/yyyy)
}

ON *:TEXT:*sad*:#: { msg $chan $nick If you feel sad at heart and want to scream ... eat a sweet .. take it easy :)
}

ON *:TEXT:*kill*me*:#: { msg $chan Killers actually have a stony heart. so if you suddenly want to remember the word "kill" think first, nobody cares.
}

ON *:TEXT:*kill*:#: { msg $chan $nick If you want to kill, shoot, fight ... Want to war and generally want to destroy the world ... Then ... My Bro, bro : D
}

ON *:TEXT:*dance*:#: { msg $chan Dance - this is one way to express our emotions. What kind of dancing do you love?
}

ON *:TEXT:*weather*:#: { msg $chan Weather is the state of the atmosphere, to the degree that it is hot or cold, wet or dry, calm or stormy, clear or cloudy.
}

ON *:TEXT:*hot*:#: { msg $chan $nick i`d want to eat hot-dogs...but i`m cat and i can`t eat dog..:S 
}

ON *:TEXT:*cold*:#: { msg $chan $nick If you are cold - squat 50 times and run 10 laps. Then you obviously will explode.
}

ON *:TEXT:*great*:#: { msg $chan $nick "great" I almost envy you.
}

ON *:TEXT:*eat*:#: { msg $chan $nick Purr purr! Feed the hungry cat! See, see! I'm right here, right here and now! Give me some food! meow!
}

ON *:TEXT:*hello:#: { msg $chan heyyy $nick
}

ON *:TEXT:*hi:#: { msg $chan hello $nick
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*where*r*from*:#: { msg $chan I ran away from her mistress's here for you to meow in the dynamic and ask for food ^^ 6purr .. purr..
}

ON *:TEXT:*where*r*from*:#: { msg $chan From planet Earth, i guess ..
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*how*old*r*:#: { msg $chan $nick i`m cat-vampire... 5Look out!! 
}

ON *:TEXT:*how*old*r*:#: { msg $chan $nick Never ask this question to girls ;) !
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*how*r*:#: { msg $chan $nick I`m fine...always FINE >:-) 
}

ON *:TEXT:*how*r*:#: { msg $chan $nick I think, this man is happy :D
}

ON *:TEXT:*cat*r*u*?:#: { msg $chan $nick Really...i don`t know...
}

ON *:TEXT:!gday*:#: {
  describe $chan 11,0|0,11|10,11|11,10|2,10|10,2|1,2|2,1|0,1 GOOD 2,1|1,2|10,2|2,10|11,10|10,11|0,11|11,0| $2 0,8|8,7|4,7|7,4|5,4|4,5|1,5|5,1|9,115315 15,1 DAY 15,1 153159,15,1|1,5|4,5|5,4|7,4|4,7|8,7|0,8|
}

ON *:TEXT:!petals*:#: {
  describe $chan 10 throws 5 up and down to  $2  6 a bunch of 3 colored 10 petals .. 13 --//\\ 9 --//\\ 7 --//\\  15 --//\\ 11 --//\\ 4 --//\\ 8 --//\\ 3 --//\\ 4 Mr-r-r!!   3 //\\-- 8 //\\-- 4 //\\--  11 //\\-- 15 //\\-- 7 //\\-- 9 //\\-- 13 //\\--
}

ON *:TEXT:!king*:#: {
  describe $chan 4 wants to SAy  YOU $2 : 4 You are  MY KING  ^^ 5  4  7  13  Crown to You!   7  4  5  
}

ON *:TEXT:!queen*:#: {
  describe $chan 4 wants to SAy  YOU $2 : 4 You are  MY QUEEN  4      5  4  7  13  Crown to You!   7  4  5    
}

ON *:TEXT:!flowers*:#: {
  describe $chan 6 wants to give  you $2  6 a big bouquet of  flowers! 13   1  2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   14   15   1   2   3   4   5   6   7   13   8   9    10  11   12  
}

ON *:TEXT:!friend*:#: {
  describe $chan 2 wants to say  $2  :  4 " .4•7°8*9”3˜10˜11”12*2°6•13♥14●15•4!!! YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND, 1 $2 4!!!15•14●13♥6°2*12”11˜10˜3”9*8°7•4. " 
}

ON *:TEXT:!dear*:#: {
  describe $chan 4 DEAR  $2  : " 15,0¾0,15¾»13,15¾15,13¾»6,13¾13,6¾»14,6¾6,14¾»1,14¾14,1¾»0,1 5 ,  I SO MISS YA ! 1,1t14,1¾1,14¾»6,14¾14,6¾»13,6¾6,13¾»15,13¾13,15¾»0,15¾15,0¾» "
}

ON *:TEXT:!rose*:#: {
  describe $chan 1has handed 12 $2 1 a single red Rose! 4@3-}--}--- 
}

ON *:TEXT:!cola*:#: {
  describe $chan offers $2 an ice cold can of 15,15I0,4 Cola 15,15I 
}

ON *:TEXT:!smile*:#: {
  describe $chan gives  $2 6 BIG SMILE!  5 Smile to your face!   13                ټ 
}

ON *:TEXT:!m&ms*:#: {
  describe $chan gives  $2  some M & M 's 2(0,2m2)1,0 9(1,9m9)1,0 3(1,3m3)1,0 8(1,8m8)1,0 4(1,4m4)1,0 9(1,9m9)1,03(1,3m3)1,02(0,2m2)10 they melt in your mouth, not in your hand. 
}

on *:TEXT:!commands:#:{
  notice $nick We have: !wake !poke !roses  !throw !tag !candy !youtube !wiki !google !roses !petals !cola !m&ms !king !queen !flowers !smile !friend !dear - ALSO GAMES: !Aim !Blowup/!Defuse !Pcall !Number/Guess !Slots !8ball
}

ON *:TEXT:!poke *:#: {
  describe $chan pokes $2 4 BUah >: )
}

ON *:TEXT:!wake *:#: {
  describe $chan 6 $2 4WAKE UPPPP 6 DUDE! 12 Stop to sleeeep ;) 
}

ON *:TEXT:!candy *:#: {
  describe $chan 13 throws 3sweets 13 and 7gifts 13 to 12 $2 
}

ON *:TEXT:!throw *:#: {
  describe $chan throws $3- at $2 - MUHAHAHAHA!
}

ON *:TEXT:!tag *:#: {
  describe $chan tags $2- "Yer it!"
}

ON *:TEXT:!roses *:#: {
describe $chan 1 hands 4 $2 1a dozen Roses! 4@3-9}3--9}3--- 4@3-9}3--9}3--- 4@3-9}3--9}3--- 4@3-9}3--9}3- 4@3-9}3--9}3--- 4@3-9}3--9}3--- 4@3-9}3--9}3--- 4@3-9}3--9}3--- 4@3-9}3--9}3--- 4@3-9}3--9}3--- 4@3-9}3--9}3--- 4@3-9}3--9}3--- } halt

{{{{{{ $nick }}}}}}
}

ON *:TEXT:!look *:#: { 
describe $chan  4o00o1_12?2?12?1_4o00o1_ 12 Look its $2 1_4o00o1_ 12?2?12?1 _4o00o1_ } halt

on *:TEXT:!slap*:#:{
  /set %fact $rand(1,20)
  if (%fact == 1) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with a large gay 4r7a8i3n11b6o13w trout~
  if (%fact == 2) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with a 2x4~
  if (%fact == 3) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) then blames it on $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $+ ~
  if (%fact == 4) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with a lawsuit, you owe me $1,000,000,000!
  if (%fact == 5) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) a pool stick~ Oh, sorry I didn't mean to sharpen it first...
  if (%fact == 6) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with a metal bat~ Oh crap, I ment to use the foam one.
  if (%fact == 7) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with a semi truck~ Hey it was only going 60mph!
  if (%fact == 8) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $+ 's used sock~
  if (%fact == 9) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with a live granade~
  if (%fact == 10) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with a wet noodle~
  if (%fact == 11) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with an icy snowball~
  if (%fact == 12) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with a sharp axe~
  if (%fact == 13) msg $chan ~Sneaks through $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $+ 's modem and slaps them up side the head with a rubber chicken~
  if (%fact == 14) msg $chan ~Pimp slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $+ ~
  if (%fact == 15) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) limp wristed~ 
  if (%fact == 16) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with a large dead trout~
  if (%fact == 17) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with a pissed off skunk~
  if (%fact == 19) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) in the face with a pissed off house cat~
  if (%fact == 20) msg $chan ~Slaps $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $+ ~
}

on *:TEXT:*cat*:#:{
  /set %fact $rand(1,20)
  if (%fact == 1) msg $chan $nick I listen ya. 
  if (%fact == 2) msg $chan $nick Can i help ya?
  if (%fact == 3) msg $chan $nick Hello^^
  if (%fact == 4) msg $chan $nick Purr purr ..
  if (%fact == 5) msg $chan $nick Where r ya from?
  if (%fact == 6) msg $chan $nick Yeah?
  if (%fact == 7) msg $chan $nick Yea 
  if (%fact == 8) msg $chan $nick O.o
  if (%fact == 9) msg $chan $nick err...
  if (%fact == 10) msg $chan $nick bla bla 
  if (%fact == 11) msg $chan $nick So
  if (%fact == 12) msg $chan $nick What will ya say me else?
  if (%fact == 13) msg $chan $nick Meow
  if (%fact == 14) msg $chan $nick Meow!
  if (%fact == 15) msg $chan $nick Hug me, cutie ^^
  if (%fact == 16) msg $chan $nick ^^
  if (%fact == 17) msg $chan $nick lol
  if (%fact == 18) msg $chan $nick what i am?
  if (%fact == 19) msg $chan $nick No 6cats1 here.. :D
  if (%fact == 20) msg $chan $nick :D
  if (%fact == 21) msg $chan $nick m?
  if (%fact == 22) msg $chan $nick My dream - live next to a bowl filled with fish. and warmth, and comfort all around.
  if (%fact == 23) msg $chan $nick aww...
  if (%fact == 24) msg $chan $nick what else?
  if (%fact == 25) msg $chan $nick do ya like hooot wea3er? :3
  if (%fact == 26) msg $chan $nick :3
  if (%fact == 27) msg $chan $nick grr..
  if (%fact == 28) msg $chan $nick :P
  if (%fact == 29) msg $chan $nick :D :)
  if (%fact == 30) msg $chan $nick :)
  if (%fact == 31) msg $chan $nick how r ya?
  if (%fact == 32) msg $chan $nick good..
  if (%fact == 33) msg $chan $nick nice..
  if (%fact == 34) msg $chan $nick hhhh
  if (%fact == 35) msg $chan $nick give me peace of fish
  if (%fact == 36) msg $chan $nick Amrrr....  
}

on *:TEXT:*talking cat*:#:{
  /set %fact $rand(1,20)
  if (%fact == 1) msg $chan $nick I listen ya. 
  if (%fact == 2) msg $chan $nick Can i help ya?
  if (%fact == 3) msg $chan $nick Hello^^
  if (%fact == 4) msg $chan $nick Purr purr ..
  if (%fact == 5) msg $chan $nick Where r ya from?
  if (%fact == 6) msg $chan $nick Yeah?
  if (%fact == 7) msg $chan $nick Yea 
  if (%fact == 8) msg $chan $nick O.o
  if (%fact == 9) msg $chan $nick err...
  if (%fact == 10) msg $chan $nick bla bla 
  if (%fact == 11) msg $chan $nick So
  if (%fact == 12) msg $chan $nick What will ya say me else?
  if (%fact == 13) msg $chan $nick Meow
  if (%fact == 14) msg $chan $nick Meow!
  if (%fact == 15) msg $chan $nick Hug me, cutie ^^
  if (%fact == 16) msg $chan $nick ^^
  if (%fact == 17) msg $chan $nick lol
  if (%fact == 18) msg $chan $nick what i am?
  if (%fact == 19) msg $chan $nick No 6cats1 here.. :D
  if (%fact == 20) msg $chan $nick :D
  if (%fact == 21) msg $chan $nick m?
  if (%fact == 22) msg $chan $nick My dream - live next to a bowl filled with fish. and warmth, and comfort all around.
  if (%fact == 23) msg $chan $nick aww...
  if (%fact == 24) msg $chan $nick what else?
  if (%fact == 25) msg $chan $nick do ya like hooot wea3er? :3
  if (%fact == 26) msg $chan $nick :3
  if (%fact == 27) msg $chan $nick grr..
  if (%fact == 28) msg $chan $nick :P
  if (%fact == 29) msg $chan $nick :D :)
  if (%fact == 30) msg $chan $nick :)
  if (%fact == 31) msg $chan $nick how r ya?
  if (%fact == 32) msg $chan $nick good..
  if (%fact == 33) msg $chan $nick nice..
  if (%fact == 34) msg $chan $nick hhhh
  if (%fact == 35) msg $chan $nick give me peace of fish
  if (%fact == 36) msg $chan $nick Amrrr....  
}

on *:TEXT:*talkingcat*:#:{
  /set %fact $rand(1,20)
  if (%fact == 1) msg $chan $nick I listen ya. 
  if (%fact == 2) msg $chan $nick Can i help ya?
  if (%fact == 3) msg $chan $nick Hello^^
  if (%fact == 4) msg $chan $nick Purr purr ..
  if (%fact == 5) msg $chan $nick Where r ya from?
  if (%fact == 6) msg $chan $nick Yeah?
  if (%fact == 7) msg $chan $nick Yea 
  if (%fact == 8) msg $chan $nick O.o
  if (%fact == 9) msg $chan $nick err...
  if (%fact == 10) msg $chan $nick bla bla 
  if (%fact == 11) msg $chan $nick So
  if (%fact == 12) msg $chan $nick What will ya say me else?
  if (%fact == 13) msg $chan $nick Meow
  if (%fact == 14) msg $chan $nick Meow!
  if (%fact == 15) msg $chan $nick Hug me, cutie ^^
  if (%fact == 16) msg $chan $nick ^^
  if (%fact == 17) msg $chan $nick lol
  if (%fact == 18) msg $chan $nick what i am?
  if (%fact == 19) msg $chan $nick No 6cats1 here.. :D
  if (%fact == 20) msg $chan $nick :D
  if (%fact == 21) msg $chan $nick m?
  if (%fact == 22) msg $chan $nick My dream - live next to a bowl filled with fish. and warmth, and comfort all around.
  if (%fact == 23) msg $chan $nick aww...
  if (%fact == 24) msg $chan $nick what else?
  if (%fact == 25) msg $chan $nick do ya like hooot wea3er? :3
  if (%fact == 26) msg $chan $nick :3
  if (%fact == 27) msg $chan $nick grr..
  if (%fact == 28) msg $chan $nick :P
  if (%fact == 29) msg $chan $nick :D :)
  if (%fact == 30) msg $chan $nick :)
  if (%fact == 31) msg $chan $nick how r ya?
  if (%fact == 32) msg $chan $nick good..
  if (%fact == 33) msg $chan $nick nice..
  if (%fact == 34) msg $chan $nick hhhh
  if (%fact == 35) msg $chan $nick give me peace of fish
  if (%fact == 36) msg $chan $nick Amrrr....  
}

on *:TEXT:*:#:{ 
  /set %fact $rand(30,20)
  if (%fact == 1) .timer 1 3 msg $chan hey $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) How r ya doing?
  if (%fact == 2) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) :D
  if (%fact == 1) .timer 1 3 msg $chan hey $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) Feed me.
  if (%fact == 3) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $1 Purr purr ^^
  if (%fact == 4) .timer 1 3 msg $chan hey $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) Heyaaa!
  if (%fact == 5) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) I`m cutie, am not i? ^^
  if (%fact == 6) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) Tell something.
  if (%fact == 7) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) I want a girlfriend. You knows some cute cat? :P
  if (%fact == 8) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) :* i love $1
  if (%fact == 9) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) Do you know one cat from Samsung? So know - it`s my bro! (H)
  if (%fact == 10) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) :S $2
  if (%fact == 11) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) My sisters and brothers are tigers and panters.
  if (%fact == 12) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) What`s your fav movie?
  if (%fact == 13) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) I`m like alive cat, but without body.
  if (%fact == 14) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) wants play with me?
  if (%fact == 15) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) Why you silent :S
  if (%fact == 16) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) I can`t keep calm when i see this word - $1
  if (%fact == 17) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) I can`t be quiek.
  if (%fact == 18) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) you work or study?
  if (%fact == 19) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) how are deals in your country?
  if (%fact == 20) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) do you like 8 balls? type !8ball and question 
  if (%fact == 21) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) Yep, i`m so crazy bot.
  if (%fact == 22) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $1 Never mind.
  if (%fact == 23) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) how old are you?
  if (%fact == 24) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) I like walk alone. Remember it.
  if (%fact == 25) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) Rock music for listening is the best, when you are angry and crazy.
  if (%fact == 26) .timer 1 3 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) Oops..! I had eaten your meat accidantly. srry :D
  if (%fact == 27) .timer 1 2 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) C`mon, take me with you on your bed .
  if (%fact == 28) .timer 1 2 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) I`m still alone..
  if (%fact == 29) .timer 1 2 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $2 it`s a $1
  if (%fact == 30) .timer 1 2 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $1 is very interesting.
  if (%fact == 31) .timer 1 2 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $1 $2 $3 all right :S
  if (%fact == 32) .timer 1 2 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) what you can say about $1 ?
  if (%fact == 33) .timer 1 2 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $1 is $3 absolutely!
  if (%fact == 34) .timer 1 2 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) is $2 crazy? O_O
  if (%fact == 35) .timer 1 2 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) Forget this - $1 $2 $3
  if (%fact == 36) .timer 1 2 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) And now i know that $1 and $3 are $2
  if (%fact == 37) .timer 1 2 msg $chan $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) Yep, i`m crazy..don`t worry about $1
}

 

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